Little Red Riding Hermione
by Pickledapples
Summary: Hermione is out to get some answers. "Little Red Riding Hood" Parody. Severus Cupcake! Ooc. Please R&R!


Hello everyone! Okay, this is the very first story published on this joint account and I hope you enjoy it.

_Disclaimer_ – We don't own anything, please don't sue us =] .

Now, onwards to the story:

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**Little Red Riding Hermione**

Hermione always was a curious girl. So from the very moment she met Professor Severus Snape, she was entranced. What was it about that greasy mop of hair, or those sunny yellow teeth that captivated her? The fact was…she didn't know. And that, for Hermione Granger: resident Know-It-All of Hogwarts, was unacceptable.

So Hermione grabbed her cloak, her basket, and her wand and set foot outside the portrait to Griffindor's common room.

"Now, remember, go straight to Snape's office," called Harry, whom she had told of her plan, "Don't get lost and don't talk with those stinky Slytherins."

"Yes Mommy," Hermione said sarcastically "Besides, you have the Marauder's Map so if I do get lost, you'll know about it."

"True," Harry mused and proceeded to get lost in thought, allowing Hermione the perfect opportunity to set off on her journey to the Bat, or her quest to Knowledge, or…

_Oh!_ Thought Hermione as something bumped into her and darted away. Scampering down the hallway was the ghost of a puppy that Hermione had dubbed Paulina. The puppy had stuck to her side since her first year but insisted on being played with at the most obscure, inconvenient times; like now. Never the less, Hermione couldn't say no to those adorable, translucent, puppy eyes and darted after Paulina.

Hermione was so busy playing with puppy Paulina that she didn't notice a shadow fall over her. Now, Hermione was in training to fight against the greatest Dark wizard in the world. She was always aware of her surroundings and always on alert. She would like to say at this point of the story, that she would have noticed this particular shadow at any other time. However, she was involved in a rather complicated game of Scrabble with her quite intelligent puppy friend Paulina. This, therefore, was occupying her attention. (As it would yours if you had a Scrabble playing puppy friend.)

"What are you doing here, Mudblood slime?" asked Draco Malfoy in his nicest voice.

"I'm on my way to see Professor Snape, ferret," said Hermione absently. She checked the time and realized that she had played scrabble for a long time. She had to continue her journey, did she want to return before curfew. So she promptly waved away the scrabble bored and bid adieu to Paulina.

Malfoy was quite put off, seeing as she had practically ignored his attempt to be friendly. So he decided to also go see Professor Snape. However, since he was a Slytherin and lived in the Dungeon, he knew of a short cut. Which he took…..

He arrived at Snape's door and knocked loudly.

"Oh hello dear! I was so worried you got lost, do come in." came the response.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow and barged in. There, in Snape's chair was Professor Dumbeldore.

"Oh," he said with a frown, "I though you were Paulina."

Malfoy wasn't paying attention to him, for on the desk was a perfectly iced cupcake. Ignoring his protests, Malfoy gobbled up the cupcake.

"You just ate Severus!" cried Dumbeldore.

You see, Hermione had made an appointment to see Professor Snape. So Snape, being forewarned, decided to turn himself into something unnoticeable so that he might spy on Hermione and surprise her when she came to meet him. He didn't like the odd looks Hermione had been sending him lately, fore they lacked fear. So he thought that the surprise of him turning into himself in front of her unsuspecting eyes would sufficiently scare her for a split second. Enough time for him to get enjoyment out of the said fear.

However, Snape was a bit rusty in Transfiguration and should sadly stick to potion making. When trying to turn himself into something small and unnoticeable, he transfigured into a cupcake. Dumbeldore had discovered him as such and seeing that he was full of candy and pie, decided not to eat the professor and keep an eye on him. Unfortunately, Malfoy was very hungry and very fast.

Thinking quick, Dumbeldore gave Malfoy a Polyjuice potion with a crumb that remained of the Snape/Cupcake. Malfoy turned into Professor Snape in a few seconds. While not as attractive as the cupcake, Dumbeldore had to be satisfied because Hermione chose that moment to show up for her meeting with Snape. Dumbledore flooed away and left Malfoy to pretend to be Snape.

Nervous and sweating, Malfoy managed, "come in Mud- I mean Miss. Granger."

"My," said Hermione with a frown "you don't sound yourself today Professor."

"I'm not…I mean, I have a bit of a cold" Fake Snape muttered.

"Well, to get down to the subject that I mentioned I wanted to talk to you about before, Professor, I must say: What greasy hair you have!"

Malfoy, forgetting what he now looked like took offense. "The better to see who is high society or not! People worthy of my time know it's hair gel!"

"Well, what yellow teeth you have!"

"No there not!" Malfoy huffed

"Yes, they are."

"Well, all the better to disgust you with then!" He made a mental note to buy better toothpaste.

"Oh, but what good way with potions you have, though your nails are cracked and ugly!" Hermione exclaimed dreamily.

At this point, Malfoy was very frustrated. He did not like to have "his" physical appearance criticized and so responded out of anger.

"The better to make you suffer with!" He cried out, grabbing the nearest potion and attempting to fling it at her.

Hermione realized that the potion was a love potion and that Snape, under no circumstances, would ever fling love potion at her. She narrowed her eyes, realizing that this man was not really Snape.

She went running down the hall, Malfoy chasing after her.

"Help! Help!" Hermione yelled, "An imposter!"

Hearing the ruckus, Professor Lupin showed up. After stunning Malfoy and questioning him, he too realized that Professor Snape was not Professor Snape. He got the truth out of Malfoy as to where the real Professor Snape was and summoned all the professors of Hogwarts. The professors and one Hermione Granger developed a plan to get the real Professor Snape back.

The affect of the plan is not a scene to be described, but it involved Malfoy spitting out Professor Snape, in human form and in one piece. Professor Snape, very much alive, was furious at Malfoy and actually took away points from Slytherin.

The Slytherins at breakfast the next day would wonder why they were in the negatives.

Hermione, alas, never got to ask her questions, for the next day Pofessor Snape quit. However, she did win her next game of Scrabble. And who needs Snape when they have a faithful puppy, Scrabble, and a nice tray of cupcakes?

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Ello' all…. I hope you enjoyed the story….

I did pick Paulina's name for a reason, btw =]

Please Review.

Also, a picture of the Severus Cupcake will be up soon, curtsey of Stephanie.

'Till next time, adieu

~Brandy~


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